Medical Commentator Pillows

'I have to charge a lot for an office visit. How do you think I pay for MY health insurance?'

The government is fully aware of the urgency of the GP's position...

Medical bills

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

Ice Cream Surgeon

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

Vlad the Inhaler

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

I'm taking you off trying to stay young.

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

Virtual Doctor

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'It's the only known prevention for swine flu...Big bad wolf serum...'

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

"How long before the clinical trials are over?"

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

Cat Scan

"The blood test will take a couple of days, but I'm pretty sure it's just ketchup."

'Cartoonist thinking'

"I just haven't been feeling very omnipotent lately."

"I'm afraid you need knee surgery."

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'