Medicinal Cannabis User Gifts

"Your dad hasn't been quite the same since he started taking C.B.D. oil."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

Bribes for Jabs

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

Cannabis: Anti-seizure Medication

"Made with a little extra TLC – and THC for good measure."

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

"Remember that '70s TV show 'What's Happening'!? Did they ever come up with an answer?" "I don't know, but it makes me wonder if Marvin Gaye found out what's going on." "The black hole of cannabis-induced queries"

"Shoulda brought the weed."

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

'Stocks are down. Bonds are down. Terrorism and natural disasters are up. Ask your doctor if medical marijuana is right for you...'

'Take two tokes of weed, Mrs Grunfield, and call me in the morning.'

Cannabis Dispensary: Walk-ins awkwardly trying to look nonchalant welcome!

"You come highly recommended. I like that."

"He's been like that ever since he stopped eating the stuff and began smoking it."

"Medical marijuana hotline...press hash to continue."

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

"All agreed? We buy low and sell high."

"Nah, dude, I'm Tokey Bear. Smokey's on vacation. Hey you got any snacks?"

Nobody warned Marge that a side effect of a hip replacement is feeling more hippy.

"I can't wait until we're older so we can get into the cannabis industry. At least then we can make a difference in people's lives."

"Say, Bill, how's that new crop of yours doing?"

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

"Lately my joints are stiff." "You're rollin' 'em too tight. Try vaping."

"My joints... are almost done"

"I've tried Buddhism, Taoism, Transendental meditation, Confucionism, Theolog, Scientgology....but I've found a good hand rolled joint of homegrown works best!"

"Could you give me enough medicinal cannabis so that I forget about Brexit?"

As a doctor I can only tell you that the jury is still out as regards the benefits of cannabis in a medical context,however it is my personal opinion that this particular sample would make one bitchin spliff.

Stoner Dog

'I'm sorry, Leonard, I can't prescribe marijuana for you. Boredom is not a medical problem.'

"I don't prescribe opioids, but feel free to grab a CBD-laced lollipop on your way out."

'What did you do in the drugs war daddy'

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

'Wow, the support for legalizing marijuana is really picking up!'

"If you ask me, you can't go wrong with this beautiful bouquet of marijuana."