Medication Guru Gifts

'Look, you've got to stop thinking that one little pill is going to solve all your problems...You need to take at least four, twice a day.'

Prescriptions and Side-effects consultant.

'If you survive these, there's a chance you'll get better.'

'You must take these pills for the rest of your life.' - 'But there're only 25 in here.'

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Self help acupuncture

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

National Academy of Sport

Congratulations on the new you!

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

Keep Fit.

'I gotta lose some weight.'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

"Your bedside health care book ... thanks for not reading it."

nstead of looking at fish bowl, a kid watches the fish on TV as they are being video taped.

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'