Medically-minded Comic Gifts

'Just as I suspected, you don't have a serious bone in your body.'

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.

"I just haven't been feeling very omnipotent lately."

'Everything is going to be fine, Mrs.Witzer...'

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

Prostate Exam Second Opinion

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

"Just think of this prescription as an app for your body...with side effects."

"And that was just your sudoku chart."

Doctors often have to reassure the worried well.

'...Better clear my schedule too.'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet.

"There are some things medical science cannot explain...like where the hell our health care system is heading."

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

' 'Peppermint thumb' is one of our toughest cases to cure.'

Lazy Doctor

"Hi! My name is Kevin, and I'll be your doctor today."

"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"

"It's for his shakes."

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

"Please have a seat over by the door, sir - We're looking for a volunteer to examine you."

"The small neat scar was from the surgery. The long jagged scar is where I sneezed."

'And now, this warning from the Surgeon-General... THINK FAST!'

If I'm a hypochondriac, what does that make YOU?

"That's the hospital policy. Cashiers must be familiar with emergency shock treatment."

'Disease is inevitable. My advice is to find an illness you can live with...'

"While I'm not an internist...I'd say you coughed up your small intestines!"

"Our operators are all busy. You are second in the queue."

'His heartbeat has been like that ever since he had the pig valve installed.'

'Spin GP'

"Doctor - can I administer my own anaesthetic?"

"Your intestinal flora looks good."