Medically-minded Comic Pillows

'Just as I suspected, you don't have a serious bone in your body.'

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

"I just haven't been feeling very omnipotent lately."

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

Prostate Exam Second Opinion

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

Doctors often have to reassure the worried well.

"And that was just your sudoku chart."

"Just think of this prescription as an app for your body...with side effects."

'...Better clear my schedule too.'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet.

"There are some things medical science cannot explain...like where the hell our health care system is heading."

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

' 'Peppermint thumb' is one of our toughest cases to cure.'

"Hi! My name is Kevin, and I'll be your doctor today."

Lazy Doctor

"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

"It's for his shakes."

"Please have a seat over by the door, sir - We're looking for a volunteer to examine you."

"That's the hospital policy. Cashiers must be familiar with emergency shock treatment."

If I'm a hypochondriac, what does that make YOU?

'And now, this warning from the Surgeon-General... THINK FAST!'

"While I'm not an internist...I'd say you coughed up your small intestines!"

"Our operators are all busy. You are second in the queue."

'Disease is inevitable. My advice is to find an illness you can live with...'

'Spin GP'

"Your intestinal flora looks good."

"Doctor - can I administer my own anaesthetic?"

'What do we do in a case like this? -- He's sick because he swallowed his insurance card.'