Medical Trivia Enthusiast Prints

"Relax, un-controllable trembling is natural before major surgery."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

Providing Healthcare For All

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

Happy Birthday to you.

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

'Time for your pills.'

"Gross."

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

Operating Room Humor. Why are anesthesiologists assumed to be honest? Because numb-ers don't lie!

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

'Long shift?'

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

Why you shouldn't date an anesthesiologist.

"Turn your head and cough."

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

'Well, none of the other options worked, so we installed a power cord on him -- if he starts going haywire again just unplug him and wait 30 seconds.'

'Take two and call me from the Emergency room.'

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

Mobile Operations Stand.

"It appears your anus transplant has rejected you..."

"No, your tonsils are fine. It's all the rest of you that's knackered!"

"Darn it, lost another swab."

'I think we should cut back on the tranquilizers.'

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

'It's your four basic food groups.'