Medical Support Pillows

The Chemo Diet

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

Licensed Therapist

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

Pet a Puppy

Geek fairies

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

Torn-Off Mouse.

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

'I think what we need now is someone called a computer programmer.'

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

Emotional Support Pest

"Rescue someone; rescue yourself"

'Here comes the 64-bit local bus.'

"Dad's at that awkward age when he knows just enough about computers to really screw 'em up!"

Couple

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

"Houston, Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, Tampa, Juneau, Honolulu, we have a problem."

First aid departments

Alcoholics Anonymous - 'Nowadays every bottle seems to say 'drink me'.'

"When you hold me like this, you make me feel I can do anything."

Warring parents

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

"I'm referring you to another therapy dog."

'I was told it required a log-in...'

"Yes, you did close some of your tabs. However, you still have 1,894 open. You're a tab hoarder."

Teacher of the Year: "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."

"I'll have the computer running once I workout the bugs."

'Due to a programming error you have been erased.'

'I'm so proud of you sweetie, you haven't smoked for a week!'

Joint Replacement Specialist has 3 boxes on desk: "Hip", "Hip", "Hooray."