Medical Support Gifts

The Chemo Diet

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

Licensed Therapist

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

Pet a Puppy

Geek fairies

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

Torn-Off Mouse.

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

'I think what we need now is someone called a computer programmer.'

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

"Rescue someone; rescue yourself"

Emotional Support Pest

'Here comes the 64-bit local bus.'

"Dad's at that awkward age when he knows just enough about computers to really screw 'em up!"

First aid departments

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

Couple

"Houston, Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, Tampa, Juneau, Honolulu, we have a problem."

Alcoholics Anonymous - 'Nowadays every bottle seems to say 'drink me'.'

"When you hold me like this, you make me feel I can do anything."

Warring parents

"I'm referring you to another therapy dog."

'I was told it required a log-in...'

Teacher of the Year: "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."

"Yes, you did close some of your tabs. However, you still have 1,894 open. You're a tab hoarder."

'Due to a programming error you have been erased.'

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

"I'll have the computer running once I workout the bugs."

'I'm so proud of you sweetie, you haven't smoked for a week!'