Financial Support Gifts

Maintenance Fee Party

Computer Room.

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

'Sorry, I can't help you, the computer's down again.'

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

"We've made it more hellish by modeling it after corporate workplaces."

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

"Call Harris back from retirement and ask him how we did things around here before computers."

Couple

Computer Mouse gets Torn Off.

'The staff are healthy enough, it's the computers that keep getting a virus!'

"If the jumper cables don't work, I'll pour more motor oil on the keys."

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

Explosion - "About the computer, try to remember the last three keys you pressed."

Customer help - jargon talking i-diot.

Warring parents

"Thank you."

"And in this room, we have the copy machine, printer, and shredder."

"Yes, you did close some of your tabs. However, you still have 1,894 open. You're a tab hoarder."

'I'm so proud of you sweetie, you haven't smoked for a week!'

Coffee, Snacks, and Encouragement.

After the upgrade, crashes were far less frequent and seldom fatal.

'Nurse! With this chemo cocktail, get me some mixed nuts and pretzels!'