Medical Procedure Support Pillows

'Gerald bought me these wonderful earrings for being SO supportive during his vasectomy.'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

Geek fairies

Torn-Off Mouse.

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

'I think what we need now is someone called a computer programmer.'

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

Look on the bright side...they'll probably name a disease after you.

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

'Here comes the 64-bit local bus.'

"Dad's at that awkward age when he knows just enough about computers to really screw 'em up!"

"Houston, Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, Tampa, Juneau, Honolulu, we have a problem."

First aid departments

'While you're doing his brain surgery, can you tweak things a bit so he'll stop picking his nose at the dinner table?'

Couple

"We found a problem with your bill. It's too low. But I'm confident we can get it into the unaffordabe range soon."

'What do you mean, you've had a change of heart?'

"When I said hair transplant I meant more than one."

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

'I've had so many transplants, I feel like a garden nursery.'

'I was told it required a log-in...'

"I'll have the computer running once I workout the bugs."

'Due to a programming error you have been erased.'

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

Emma is very happy that the doctor will finally remove the growth on Daddy's nose but she's also a little sad to see it go...

"Yes, you did close some of your tabs. However, you still have 1,894 open. You're a tab hoarder."

"Pay attention, 'switch it off switch it on again' does not apply to the life support machines."

Customer help - jargon talking i-diot.

'I'm so proud of you sweetie, you haven't smoked for a week!'

Joint Replacement Specialist has 3 boxes on desk: "Hip", "Hip", "Hooray."

'Nurse! With this chemo cocktail, get me some mixed nuts and pretzels!'

"Maybe it's just me, Stan, but I keep getting the nagging feeling that your company doesn't place a very high value on information technology."

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'