Hospital Procedures Pillows

"Pay attention, 'switch it off switch it on again' does not apply to the life support machines."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

Look on the bright side...they'll probably name a disease after you.

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

"The colonoscopy isn't your eternal punishment...the prep is."

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

'What do you mean, you've had a change of heart?'

"When I said hair transplant I meant more than one."

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

'Last year's 'Bring your pet to work day' turned out very well.'

'And Remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

'I've had so many transplants, I feel like a garden nursery.'

'It's a screaming ladies part.'

Admissions lady: 'I don't take care of myself like I should ... my negligence probably killed a guy once ... I'm secretly attracted to you ...'

'Either I've got bad news for you or my watch has stopped...'

Celebration in operating theatre.

Emma is very happy that the doctor will finally remove the growth on Daddy's nose but she's also a little sad to see it go...

"I forgot to get a selfie during the procedure. Can we do it again?"

'Your left ventricle doesn't know what your right ventricle is doing.'

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

'Who's your next of kin? When did you last eat or drink? Do you have any allergies? Are you wearing clean underpants?'

Maternity Ward "Just call me the Secretary of Labor."