Medical Receptionist Gifts

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"The doctor would like to know if anyone else out here needs surgery before he puts his stuff away."

'You're not listening to what you're hearing.'

'When I arrived I was cleanshaven.'

Hospital Admissions: 'Intensive and/or expensive care?'

"We run an old fashioned practice here, Mrs Gledhill."

"I've been waiting here so long I think I'm cured."

"I always find that you get seen quicker if you sit like this."

'Main Street Health Clinic. How may we overmedicate you?'

'Now turn your head to the left and cough up your medical card.'

'No - two weeks next Thursday with Doctor Barnes will be fine.'

"We need you to fill out this form again....and this time don't skip the embarrassing parts."

'Well, it just sounds like a common cold to me. I wonder why you bothered calling.'

'Please be patient. The Doctor will see you as soon as possible. Thank you.'

"I didn't get to see the doctor. The office closed before I finished filling out the 'New Patient' forms."

'I could possibly fit you in next Monday if it's urgent.'

"Medicine by mail...I'm worried about the risk to patients!" "I'm worried about the risk to my balance sheet!"

'I'm afraid you've come through on the wrong line, you want the appointments desk.'

"Any family history of stroke? Diabetes? Bankruptcy?"

"We'll make this short...what isn't wrong with you?"

'If I chip in $50, would you get some fresh magazines?'

"Sorry to keep you waiting."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

'I'll need your age and weight, but be assured we'll keep them between us.'

You'd think fro the cost of an appointment, the doctor could afford current magazines!

'...Do you have an appointment...?'

'I've got a bad back, Doctor. From sitting in your waiting room for over an hour!'

'Being in limbo doesn't bother me because I had to visit doctors' offices a lot.'

"Our records show that you haven't subjected yourself to any costly, useless tests in quite some time."

''You're in luck. Happy hour prices.''

"Cosmetic surgery...third floor."

"It's certainly helped to cut down the number of people hanging around the waiting room."

"Well I've only got next Tuesday at 4.30!"

"Tell the doctor I no longer have the chills. I knitted this entire sweater in the waiting room."

"The doctors and nursing staff are booked for months in advance, but I got a clean bill of health from the office manager."