Medical Professional Joker Pillows

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Got it!"

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Get crazy once in a while

Virtual Doctor

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

'It's your four basic food groups.'

Cardiologist Henry Weil like to add some levity before surgery by hiding a whoopee cushion on the operating table.

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

Toilet humour

"Rolling pizza cutter."

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

Here lies BoBo the Clown

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

'Two scalpels and a nurses hat are missing...'

"The good news is that your appendectomy op was a complete success"

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

No infrastructure problem here

Why dogs are not hired to do bone scans

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"