Medical Professional Joker Pillows

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Got it!"

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Get crazy once in a while

Virtual Doctor

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'It's your four basic food groups.'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"Rolling pizza cutter."

Here lies BoBo the Clown

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

Toilet humour

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

'Two scalpels and a nurses hat are missing...'

"The good news is that your appendectomy op was a complete success"

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

No infrastructure problem here

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

Why dogs are not hired to do bone scans

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

"Now go home and forget about your amnesia..."