Medical Office Troupe Gifts

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

'Yes, I'm sure Latestagrossa is the patient's name, and not the disease!'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'Do we have any oldies but goodies that you would care to hear?'

"I think you're suffering from nostalgia, Mr. Prentice."

"I am not the famous heart surgeon, but I am in his medical group."

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

'I'm sorry Bill, but some things in medicine we doctors just can't explain...like insurance forms.'

Clinic. Let's see … Have there been any injuries, digestive disorders or malpractice suits today? Nope - No hits, no runs, no errors.

What goes up must come down, except for your cholesterol, apparently.

"I have 15,000 patients...so my fantasy football team stinks."

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

"Do you want to speak to the man in charge or the nurse who knows what's going on?"

'House calls?...Dr. Latrobe doesn't even make phone calls!'

Spock visits the Orthopedics

Covid 19 Christmas Medical Team

"But, for ten million bucks, would you lick it?"

"This time, Joe passes the gas, Sue cuts, Bob retracts and I grab the appendix... wait, better play... I pass the gas, Sue cuts, Lynne holds retractors, Bob grabs the appendix... wait........"

"Wow, at last! Somebody who's really ill."

'Perhaps we should start off with an underwear transplant.'

"It's a simple stress test - I do your blood work, send it to the lab, and never get back to you with the results."

'... No, I'm sorry, the doctor can't see you right now. Today's his prior authorization day.'

'Well this shouldn't last long.'

"Fill out these 'new patient' forms, but leave 'age' blank, as you may age a year before you're done."

"Miss Bradley, would you bring in a Clean Bill of Health?"

'...Next place goes to the lady for 200 euros!'

'Thank's for your patience as we transition to electronic filing. . . Mrs. McGillicuddy.'

'My disclosure of the information you are requesting would violate HIPAA.'

'All this cutting edge diagnostic imaging equipment and we still can't see through all of these new ACA requirements!'

Visual gag (a small microsurgeon's office).

'I want to change to another doctor, because I've read all of the magazines in your waiting room.'

'The doctor will be a little late...why don't you discuss each others ailments until he gets here!'