Medical Mishap Manager Gifts

"It would be so great if, just once, someone didn't waltz in here complaining about something."

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

Barbeque Casualty.

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

'When you've a minute could you design a new health infrastructure for the area with budget forecasts staffing requirements and job descriptions...tomorrow will do.'

Stafford Hospital - Twinned with Hell.

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

'When an outboard goes overboard'

'I can't turn it off.'

DIY expert.

OPERATING ROOM, 'Your husband may have a little trouble sleeping for awhile -- we spilled some coffee in him.'

"And when you finish curing all your patients we would like you to sort out climate change. . ."

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

'How's my Surger? Call 1-600 Lawsuit.'

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

'She's a little upset. Apparently, when the cosmetic surgeon asked her what kind of chin she'd like, she thought he said gin and asked for a double.'

Paramedic Mistakes.

"Well... the good news is we've dealt with your ingrowing toenail..!"

"When I yell 'CLEAR' that doesn't mean you."

"We WANT you to take power over your work...And THIS is how we want you to do it!"

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

Dr. Mooglum made two mistakes. First, he stuck the stethoscope on the patient's forehead, and secondly, he replaced the end with a suction cup.

'He accidentally brushed his teeth with hemorrhoid-shrinking cream.'

'Mr. Jayson, get back into your bandages.'

Broken hospital sign.

'Try not to make this doctor nervous ? this will be his first operation.'

Firemen called to a cooking accident.