Medical Mischief Fan Pillows

'Nurse! The chart says comatose, not comb his toes!'

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

It's a pretty serious chemical imbalance, Mr. Sims

Prescriptions: "Jack of Clubs?"

Less expensive equivalent.

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

"You're sure it's a birthmark?"

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

Medical Curiosities

Obstruction of justice? Yeah, I can give you something for that.

"Hey, were it up to me, you'd be here for another few days, but then I'm not your insurance company."

'The GOOD news is that the medication you took has completely cleared up your hardening of the arteries.'

"I'm afraid the shark got your arms and legs. It's probably not a good time, but your brother's here. He needs a kidney."

'Good news! Your positives look negative.'

Sling

Yes, the results of your blood test came back, Mr. Fusco. But they're for me to know, and you to find out. ! !

"Sorry Mr. Parkinson, but I've left some rubber gloves inside you. I need to open you up to retrieve them."

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

Rudolph Red Light District

'Well you can tell Dr. Zimler that you don't have Dalnik's syndrome, and, in fact, I think you have Zimler's syndrome.'

"See? Right there - my wedding ring."

Broken legs and broken nose in the hospital.

'Quite frankly, Mr. Bayliss, you've got us baffled.'

"Time of death, 11:55." "Wait, what?" "No, sorry, my phone died."

'You're fine.'

'I gave you a few extra stitches - Your husband's idea, really!'

"There's no response! Are you sure he's in there?"

Nose Jobs $2.

"There's something funny about those two."

'What are you complaining about...they told you this was MINOR surgery!'