Medical Mischief Fan Pillows

'Nurse! The chart says comatose, not comb his toes!'

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

Prescriptions: "Jack of Clubs?"

Less expensive equivalent.

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

"You're sure it's a birthmark?"

'Yes doctor, it did hurt when you did that!'

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

Medical Curiosities

"Hey, were it up to me, you'd be here for another few days, but then I'm not your insurance company."

"I'm afraid the shark got your arms and legs. It's probably not a good time, but your brother's here. He needs a kidney."

'Good news! Your positives look negative.'

"Sorry Mr. Parkinson, but I've left some rubber gloves inside you. I need to open you up to retrieve them."

Sling

'Well you can tell Dr. Zimler that you don't have Dalnik's syndrome, and, in fact, I think you have Zimler's syndrome.'

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

'Quite frankly, Mr. Bayliss, you've got us baffled.'

Broken legs and broken nose in the hospital.

Nose Jobs $2.

'You're fine.'

"There's no response! Are you sure he's in there?"

"Time of death, 11:55." "Wait, what?" "No, sorry, my phone died."

'What are you complaining about...they told you this was MINOR surgery!'

"There's something funny about those two."

'I gave you a few extra stitches - Your husband's idea, really!'