Medical Insurance Analyst Gifts

"I thought the co-pay was supposed to be smaller than the pay."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

Looking for the cause of high health care costs. . .

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

Safe spaces?

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

'This charge is for the office visit, this charge is for blood work, and this charge just about pays off the doc's school loan.'

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

"Now they're saying 80 is the new 70. So, when's the new dead?"

"I'm sorry, Mr Percival, but what you've got is not economically treatable."

Uncle Mort's Storytime. Billy the pachyderm was a nice guy who got a sticker stuck in his thigh. Restrooms. Went he for help to his mouse friend Fred … I'll take our yer sticker, Dr Fred said. Just one question before I advance. Who do you have for your insurance? I am not covered, poor Billy cried. So, limp Billy did 'till the day he died. Waaaaaah!

'We need to learn what happened at eleven O'clock.'

'There's only one side effect from this medication. It starts when you don't pay my bill!'

44.3 million Americans without health insurance.

"Everyone who's unhappy with their health system is here."

'Now for the eye test, can you read my bill?'

"Imagine an accident at 60mph..." "It would be like being hit by a 60 ton elephant."

'Surgery is being outsourced now to a shop just down the block.'

"Yes, the treatment is very effective, especially for those who can afford it."

'I think I had an out-of-network experience while I was under.'

"A specialist is a doctor with a smaller practice and a bigger home."

You take'm through the nose, you pay through the nose.

"Relax. I'm not here to administer last rites, but to help you pray your insurance will cover all!"

"Your insurance has run out. We're discharging you from the 'Observation Care' floor to the 'Who Cares?' room in the basement."

Nurses in short supply.

'Give it to me straight, doc. If I outlive medicare, will I have to flee Canada?'

"We should mention a few mild side effects. If here are none at all, people will be suspicious."

'Who are you calling Napoleon?I'm just going to pay you!'

'You have 'Text Message Thumbs.' I suggest actually using your cell phone as a phone for a while.'

'I'm happy to say this makes grim reading.'

'Sweet! Money to pay my health insurance premium!'

'What does Perkemup do? What would like it to do?'

"He had the AstraZeneca vaccine and then he was hit by a meteorite."