Medical Gag Lover Pillows

"I'm in for observation."

'No swimming. No breathing.'

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

'YAY! PATE!'

Comedy School: 'Please knocky nicky nooo!'

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

'Your left ventricle doesn't know what your right ventricle is doing.'

'Congratulations - you're the first victim of recombinant DNA.'

'Admit it you need glasses, that is my false eyelash you have just sprayed.'

Wise man scaring baby Jesus.

"Is it working?"

"I love it when they come with warning labels."

The Fart Side

'My first drink since my accident.'

Chiropodist is wearing a gas mask while treating a client.

'Methane Happens.'

"Don't worry. I'm doing someone's liver resection tomorrow and I'll grab one of their kidneys."

This would be Andy's first and last day as golf instructor at Sunset Oaks Country Club: "Remember, *hic*....Always jerk your head up and swing at the ball as hard as you can."

Kick Me T Shirts.

"Apparently, this is his 'great lost masterpiece...'"

'Brother John had discovered a loophole in the vow of silence'

My uncle was a world-famous chainsaw juggler. For one show.