Hospital Gag Gift Lover Pillows

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'No swimming. No breathing.'

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

Lavatory Waterfall

"It will be okay to hop when you go home but don't try to run."

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

'Urology...can you hold?'

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

Paramedics.

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

'You're excused. Anyone else feel too squeamish to witness the procedure?'

"I'm in for observation."

"Mr. Wilson? I'm Dr. Bradshaw. Please come in."

"Pay attention, 'switch it off switch it on again' does not apply to the life support machines."

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

'Your left ventricle doesn't know what your right ventricle is doing.'

'I'm so proud of you sweetie, you haven't smoked for a week!'