Hospital Gag Gift Lover Pillows

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Bubble Gum Farms.

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

Clown's Cuckoo Clock.

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

Lavatory Waterfall

"It will be okay to hop when you go home but don't try to run."

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

'Urology...can you hold?'

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

Paul McCartney, The Surgeon - "I want to hold your gland yeah, yeah, yeah..."

'You're excused. Anyone else feel too squeamish to witness the procedure?'

Paramedics.

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

"Pay attention, 'switch it off switch it on again' does not apply to the life support machines."

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

Too much Inflammation

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

"Mr. Wilson? I'm Dr. Bradshaw. Please come in."

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

"I'm in for observation."

'Well, you make it sound silly. All my new hybriproducts are unique and useful.'

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

'Your left ventricle doesn't know what your right ventricle is doing.'