Medical Gag Aficionado Pillows

"He's counted backwards by fives, he's named all fifty states plus their capitals. I'm telling you, the tank's out of anesthesia."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

Dog forced to return bone

"I'm in for observation."

'Your left ventricle doesn't know what your right ventricle is doing.'

'I'll take #1.'

'The good news is that you look good. The bad news is that you're not as good as you look.'

"You know, Larry, you really don't have to carry that thing around to tell "knock-knock" jokes."

"Is it working?"

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

'Will the results of this probe be sent to my gastroenterologist?'

"Your sodium level is high...probably from taking everything you hear with a grain of salt!"

"Don't worry. I'm doing someone's liver resection tomorrow and I'll grab one of their kidneys."

"While I'm not an internist...I'd say you coughed up your small intestines!"

"I'm afraid someone drank your sample."

"Fortunately treatment will be relatively inexpensive since you have the generic form of the disease!"

'Deploy the Candarm and ready the Canafinger.'

"Surprise!"

'True but only in practice, not in principle.'

'What's that noise?'

'I gave you a few extra stitches - Your husband's idea, really!'

Feed a clod, starve a feeble...

Osteoporosis Clinic

"Nurse, you've mixed up the helium and oxygen again haven't you ?"

'What's the problem?'

'You've got termites.'

'You srow ze glove in my face?...'

'Mr Mundello, when I said strip to the waist, I meant for you to start at the top.'

Porcupine exiting water has skewered fish.

'The nurse tells me you haven't been swallowing your pills.' (Doctor has harpoon).

'Okay, you're due for a lube job, fluid levels check and a new ball joint. Oh, skip that...this is my list...'

"Are you still waiting for that site to load?"

"What' this?! I said to find me a brain!"