Medical Courage Pillows

'And this one is for going into an MRI machine -- alone.'

Ice Cream Surgeon

PSA Banter.

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

Little doctor.

The obstetrician doesn't need a close catcher...

'Hah! The joke's on you — I already thought up a second opinion!'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

World Cup Fever

'You have an enlarged funny bone.'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

'My god! Have you seen the size of this chiropodist's bill?!!'

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.