Medical Art Collector Gifts

'Hmmm - so how do you feel?'

Great Chinese Dynasties

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Use your imagination.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Madame Rejane- Famous French Actress in the Part of Madame Sans Gene

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

Giant Monster in Bath

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

"Got any bathtub gin?"

"Now this I get."

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

'Pray for me.'

First we thought the apes would conquer the world...When in reality we've been busy mining the end of the world all along.

A bird that is also the helmet from a suit of armour (or is it a bird inside a helmet?). Notice the very small flying bird/helmet in the background.

Art Gallery.

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

"Caricatures $20"

EU: Behind the scenes.

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

Egyptian Football

"He's an abstract artist."

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'