Medical Memorabilia Gifts

"He's taking selfies again. More anesthesia!"

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

'Have you forgotten, dear, that you gave your heart to me in nineteen ninety one?'

'We can't afford advertising like this! That's one page for the drug and two just for the side effects!'

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

Humanitarian Medical Work

"Well done Carson! This could be the answer to our bed shortage problems!"

Doctor consulting a textbook.

'We're donating our organist to science.'

Cuba increases mass vaccination

"I've given blood about 20 times. . ."

First aid and sculpture

J. Greeble, MD: Practice limited to simple, straightforward, old-fashioned diseases.

Operating room. 3 days without an accident.

'I'm not a guru. I just came up here until the ebola scare goes away.'

"Hey! This was rubber stamped!"

'Angiogram.'

An early medical case ripe for a malpractice lawsuit.

Drunken Dis-orderly

'Anything else besides shortness of breath?'

'Your breathing test results would be normal ... if you were 3'8' and 150 years old.'

"Good news, Mrs. Bryant - I think we got it all."

"You'll be pleased to know you're making good progress - you've just become a statistic."

"Oh, him? I have him write out all of my prescriptions for me!"

'I think you've reached the mandatory retirement number of oopses.'

Dirty filthy sweat socks, personally autographed by the Hall of Famer who wore them.