Medical Memorabilia Gifts

"He's taking selfies again. More anesthesia!"

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

'Have you forgotten, dear, that you gave your heart to me in nineteen ninety one?'

'We can't afford advertising like this! That's one page for the drug and two just for the side effects!'

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

'I just found out my vintage Roy Rogers lunch box is worth more than my 401k.'

"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."

Elephant walking out of urologist office carrying 2 peanuts in jar.

Humanitarian Medical Work

Cuba increases mass vaccination

"Well done Carson! This could be the answer to our bed shortage problems!"

"I've given blood about 20 times. . ."

Highlights from the Million Moderate March

'We're donating our organist to science.'

J. Greeble, MD: Practice limited to simple, straightforward, old-fashioned diseases.

First aid and sculpture

Doctor consulting a textbook.

Operating room. 3 days without an accident.

'I'm not a guru. I just came up here until the ebola scare goes away.'

'Angiogram.'

"Hey! This was rubber stamped!"

An early medical case ripe for a malpractice lawsuit.

Drunken Dis-orderly

'Anything else besides shortness of breath?'

'Your breathing test results would be normal ... if you were 3'8' and 150 years old.'

"Good news, Mrs. Bryant - I think we got it all."

"You'll be pleased to know you're making good progress - you've just become a statistic."

"Oh, him? I have him write out all of my prescriptions for me!"

Dirty filthy sweat socks, personally autographed by the Hall of Famer who wore them.