Medical Advisor Gifts

"My job is to confirm your 15 prescriptions are compatible."

Dr. Fauci

Mrs. Tree? A hockey ball hit your daughter. It's likely just a bad bruise. Whew! Though there could be a fracture, nerve damage or fatal blood clots. What? Don't worry. Our medical advisor is evaluating Twig right now. Can you sign this liability waiver? Her hand seems fine. Team lawyer.

"I find a good way to avoid stress is to close the curtains, climb into bed, and pull the covers over my head."

"It's a good thing we caught this in time - An ingrown mustache can be VERY serious."

"I don't care what Doctor Laura said is okay!"

"I have complete faith in Dr. Fauci towing the line because I keep his diploma in a safe place for him."

"And what would you consider your legacy to be, Dr. Fauci, when all of this is behind us?"

"Try Lourdes! Is that it?"

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge a consulting fee."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

Obama Healthcare.

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

"Just go with the workflow."

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

"Remember, Man of good Sense not here to do work on your behalf. Man of good Sense only here to help you on strategic level until you wise enough to overcome recession."

"I can definitely give you my two cents, Sir – just let me know how you want it: Bitcoin, Paypal, or Venmo."

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

"At least he's honest about it..."

Govt. UK led by Seance

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

"And this is my cousin Dave, who handles the conventional wisdom."

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

'It basically boils down to you need to do stuff better.'

Don't forget to read the small print.

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."