Junior Medical Advisor Gifts

'I don't feel that bad.'

Little Doctor meets Little Geneticists.

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Obama Healthcare.

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

Junior Doctor.

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

Govt. UK led by Seance

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

'The doctor will be right with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

GPs could be forced to switch IT systems onto new NHS digital contract

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

Mrs. Tree? A hockey ball hit your daughter. It's likely just a bad bruise. Whew! Though there could be a fracture, nerve damage or fatal blood clots. What? Don't worry. Our medical advisor is evaluating Twig right now. Can you sign this liability waiver? Her hand seems fine. Team lawyer.

"To be honest, most of our work involves reassuring patients until nature cures them..."

Consortia set to take over

"Well TECHNICALLY he might be DEAD, but accordinh to the hospital's new patient satisfaction metrics he's pretty damned pleased about it."

'You're clearly not well, just keep taking these until we run out of them.'

"The diagnostic computer think I should defrag your hard drive."

"I'm afraid the diagnosis isn't good."

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

'It says take all your medication - if you can afford it.'

'How can I help you? We offer - choice, diversity or competition.'

Anatomy.

"Oh no, those aren't recharging stations for phones. We have those there so physicians can get themselves recharged!"

"I'm recommending a more balanced diet."

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'

My fitness tracker said I was dead but I thought I'd better get a second opinion

"Now they're saying shiny things attached to hooks are bad for you."

"Not every day you get a health minister in the surgery..."

Grand rounds vs. ground rounds.

Jim's Smart Kettle

'The principle of setting higher targets is practical, imaginative and likely to work...but the idea has one major flaw.'

Food Pyramid.

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'