Medical Advice Respecter Pillows

Do Not Confuse Your Internet Search With my Medical Degree!

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

The Canary in the Coal Mine

'My doctor told me avoid any unnecessary stress, so I didn't visit him today.'

Govt. UK led by Seance

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

"I'm a doctor - I'm SUPPOSED to be a health nut!"

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

"You need to stop eating that sh*t."

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

'It says take all your medication - if you can afford it.'

'Learn to relax and don't bottle yourself up.'

"The diagnostic computer think I should defrag your hard drive."

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

Jim's Smart Kettle

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'

"Now they're saying shiny things attached to hooks are bad for you."

Food Pyramid.

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'

"I'm recommending a more balanced diet."

'Well, if you don't smoke or drink, stop chewing gum!'

My fitness tracker said I was dead but I thought I'd better get a second opinion

"Doctor, before we start you've got to promise me that I don't have to give up anything."

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

Vaping cigarette

"We'd like you to be at breaking point seven days a week."

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

'If I do decide to get a second opinion, can I get it at your blog?'