Medical Advice Seekers Pillows

"A quick internet search stopped me worrying about my aching back...."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

'I took your advice and told him either I get a raise or I quit!'

Constructive Criticism 50c.

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

"I'm a doctor - I'm SUPPOSED to be a health nut!"

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"You need to stop eating that sh*t."

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

"I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you, but this is a dry cleaner's."

"The diagnostic computer think I should defrag your hard drive."

'Learn to relax and don't bottle yourself up.'

"A word to the wise..or is it a word from the wise? I always get it mixed up."

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'

A Bug's Life Advice

'I just had to stop by and thank you for all the advice...'

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

'Well, if you don't smoke or drink, stop chewing gum!'