Medical Advice Explorer Pillows

I've already got a diagnosis from homedoc.com, but I thought I'd see you for a second opinion!

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Hot Pie Therapy

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

The Canary in the Coal Mine

'My doctor told me avoid any unnecessary stress, so I didn't visit him today.'

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

When it comes to health issues, I'd rather listen to a physician than a spin doctor.

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

"I'm a doctor - I'm SUPPOSED to be a health nut!"

"Just think of this prescription as an app for your body...with side effects."

"The diagnostic computer think I should defrag your hard drive."

"You need to stop eating that sh*t."

'Learn to relax and don't bottle yourself up.'

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

'Medical science is this close to finding a cure for the common evil vapors.'

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

"Okay, Jaxcsunn, stay still in the crystal circle while I douse you in essential oils."

"I'd consider taking out this appendix you'renot using and greatly expanding your kidney area."

"Loss of libido? Have you considered Husband Replacement Therapy?"

Medicare: More is Better!

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

'I can't wait for a generic version of eyes of newts to come out.'

'Well, if you don't smoke or drink, stop chewing gum!'

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'

'Mrs. Tomkins says her prescription has no side effects, so it can't be doing her any good.'

'Only one side effect - colossal pain...'

A man's health care options.

"It's just that you might find food a lot cheaper!"