Media Spotlight Lovers Gifts

'Celebrity shopping please ignore.'

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DVD extras - the making of the boxed set.

"Grandma's TV is so old it wasn't made in a foreign country."

'Our Anesthesiologist resigned recently.'

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

"It's not for you, it's for the paparazzi."

John Woodvine

"And for you older folks, the current time is 'nowadays.'"

As Seen On TV

Senor Bean or Mr. Zapatero, I presume?

Lose the Iraq War.

Media Whore Raceway.

"What'll it be ... scary movies or scary news?"

Your son is smart and curious and has no attention span whatsoever

TV dinners: regular and widescreen

"Quick - make something up, I've got a space to fill."

"There's nothing much happening tonight... so I'm going to just talk about myself!"

"The following program contains adult situations designed to make you feel bad about your life."

'Hello, Mum!'

"Anywhere with cable T.V. will be fine."

Topless Newsreader - "Just for the first few weeks love, until we've captured the audience."

'This looks good. It's a six-hour special on how society is becoming too sedentary.'

'On a personal note, I'm happy to report that I've been promoted from the network's chief 'pundit' to chief 'pontificator'.'

"If anyone wants me I'll be on the shop floor strutting my stuff."

"Armageddon, armageddon, armageddon, then sports and weather."

It was the harshest job interviews Peter had ever attended...

Media Attention for Aliens

"I used to shoot first and ask questions later, but now I start with the questions."

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt

Journalist with a 'Press Pass' being put in a laundry press.

'For God's sake step back and let the TV cameras through!'

Waiting for the Phone to Ring

Tonight on The Price is Right! Three people compete … to the death. Animal Planet brings you the gruesome mating dance of the preying … CNBC stock analysts, Jane Ponziskeem and Chuck Boughtman. You two both see, to agree the President's tax … Calamity was the most apocalyptic thing that ever happened in the history of the inner solar system. The devastating impact blew much of the earth's crust into orbit. After millions of years, it all coalesced to form ... Disney. The company now owns much of

"Have you noticed that people look smaller on the telly...?"