Media Savvy Pillows

'I don't understand your question. Could you restate it as an answer?'

"Were you referred to us by your doctor or publicist?"

"And I don't want to hear any of this 'There are no cameras following us so what's the point?' stuff."

Uncle Sam inside a Ukrainian brain.

"We advised viewer discretion and they all decided not to watch."

'This way the trial won't have any commercial interruptions.'

"At this point in your career, your only hope is to get fat, lose weight, and endorse a weight-loss program."

President Obama's UK state visit.

'Whoa! I never realized that TV-news readers had abdomens!'

"Dad, how do you become a TV reporter?"

Randi Rhodes

Online Dating

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Victorian Selfie

DVD extras - the making of the boxed set.

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

"#BeCurious"

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"I already have the perfect hashtag!"

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

To get past the gates of Heaven you have to now enter an internet style password

'From here I can monitor world stocks, or attend overseas teleconferences, unfortunately I can't get out though because the door's stuck.'

"And a final note: Perception officially become reality."

"Sometimes I don't think you're listening to me!"

As Seen On TV

The first unfriendly takeover

"Have you heard something that the rest of us don't know about?"

'Sir, there's a taxpayer who knows his rights, to see you.'

'We can still rise to the occasion but, in light of bad press, just not in the company-owned plane.'

"Do you promise to love, honor and not share each other's personal data on social media?"