Media Relations Gifts

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

'As a part of the company's green initiative, I hereby dedicate this tree! May it forever serve as a symbol of our corporate responsibility to the environment!

'We need a PR expert who can make heads or tails out of what I'm trying to say to the public.'

Truth center & spin control.

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

Global Public Relations - doorbell reads, press to impress.

"Is your church up for the 'Best Media Coverage' award?"

Diddly

The Acme Agency: Dedicated to life, liberty and the pursuit of media exposure.

'Please stop talking to the media, Doctor. It's my job to make any rash statements.'

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

'How fast can you hype?'

'A spin doctor just isn't enough any more, Senator - you need a choreographer.'

"But if you put your foot in your mouth, our rates automatically double."

"Following my usual procedure, I'll issue a statement at 2 PM, a clarification at 3 and a retraction at 4."

"Typical. Where's the media when I call a press conference to bash the media?"

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Occu-Pie Mars

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Hollywood Sign Developers

In the Guru District

Squeezing the Free Press.

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

Build your very own conflict of interest!

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"National security adviser"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."