Media Presenter Pillows

The great Tea Bag Scam!

Trial by Media

Showbiz Awards

'How fast can you hype?'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

If nobody had invented graphics

Gay Times...

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

A little bird told me...

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Stephen Fry

Presidential Pooch Meets The Press

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

Local News in Heaven

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

"Let me now direct your attention to the pepperoni."

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'