Television Presenter Pillows

Pantomime dame: 'Has anyone seen my successful TV and film career?' Audience: 'It's behind you!'

Gok Wan

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

Dave had never experienced nervous ticks until just before his nature channel debut

Local News in Heaven

Noel Edmonds.

"This won best award show last year."

'How did you cope before 24-hour rolling gossip?'

Jerry Springer of biblical times.

Talking head on the TV stand.

'It's surprising who turns out to be an environmental expert, isn't it.'

I'm Wendy Shular substituting for Lena Peabody who busted the glass ceiling...

'This is a talk show, buddy -- put the gun down!'

Top 100 best guesses what celebrities do - when they're not reminiscing on top 100 best of shows.

Chef's Specialities�

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'It's equal ops... British television's first political interviewer with tourettes.'

'Things even God could not know - for $400, Alex.'

"You're my agent, tell me - what do I have to do to be taken seriously as an animal-bloopers-show host?"

"This is our format: Three minutes to present your case, two minutes each for rebuttal, one minute for summing up, and thirty seconds for claiming victory."

"So, colony collapse disorder - how funny is it?"

Jerry Springer

"I give it two thumbs up!" "You give everything two thumbs up!" The Iggy Iguanodon Show

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

'Hi Peter, it's Chris Tarrant here, from 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?''

Adrian Chiles

'Please do not adjust your set -- I'm just a little hung over.'

'On tonight's news: Katie Couric interviews Katie Couric.'

Reporter #6: television.

Presenter Auditions.

Mick Aston, Time Team - RIP.

Welcome to Celebrity Fit Club, where all the fat lost is donated to building a clone of me so I can swan off and top up my tan.

Late Night TV

"Well,that must be a television FIRST-Delia Smith BURNING a roast!!!'

'Nothing's happened today-read it dead slowly.'