Media Management Gifts

King Solomon's Pollster.

"Nowadays we call it 'media management.' Not a 'payoff'."

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

"Mr. Romney, Ted Nugent is still holding on line three."

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Occu-Pie Mars

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

In the Guru District

Squeezing the Free Press.

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"National security adviser"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'If only every year was an election year.'

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

If nobody had invented graphics

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

Gay Times...

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Meet the Enemy

Cord cutter

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Florida Governor, Rick Scott, cuts funding for rape victims.