Media Management Gifts

King Solomon's Pollster.

"Nowadays we call it 'media management.' Not a 'payoff'."

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

"Mr. Romney, Ted Nugent is still holding on line three."

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Occu-Pie Mars

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

In the Guru District

Squeezing the Free Press.

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

Build your very own conflict of interest!

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"National security adviser"

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'If only every year was an election year.'

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

If nobody had invented graphics

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

Gay Times...

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Meet the Enemy

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

Cord cutter