Media Addict Pillows

"Now that I can watch whatever I want, whenever I want, my life has no structure."

"When catch-up TV finally catches up"

' Newspaper'

Showbiz Awards

"They grow up so fast."

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

Create some buzz!

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

Big screen TV falling through floor

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

Stephen Fry

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

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DVD extras - the making of the boxed set.

"Don't open me, you fool!"

NOVA. Don't worry --- The "vacuum of space" is not that kind of vacuum.

Newspaper suicide.

'Hello Mr Preston? This is an ALIEN speaking. We have landed in your paddock. We have mutilated your cows. We have made loud crashing noises...what the hell is on your TV that's so special?'

Binge Watch

"Oh my God, they're gassing refugees. Look at this family!"

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

Can't Touch This

Spooning

Presenter Auditions.

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.