Medal Of Mom Pillows

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

Acclaimed mother.

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

'This one is for keeping all the other ones so neatly arranged.'

Welcome to MOMtana

The weight of winning gold.

'Any awards or honors?'

'I'd have a lot more of em if it weren't' for some jerks always looking for peaceful situations.'

"Interestingly no - these are vastly enlarged images of my three favourite chromosomes."

'...and this one is for knowing what all the others are for.'

"What's next?"

'This one is for not making a pre-emptive strike against anyone questioning our authority to make pre-emptive strikes.'

Clearing up medals.

"Our nation hasn't been to war in a hundred years. Where the hell did we get all these medals?"

General gets a jackpot of medals at the casino slot machine.

Army general with a support for his medals.

'Just the one, thanks.'

Nancy Wake -French resistance fighter WW11

Sportsperson is happy with most likes

'This one is for 'don't ask, don't tell', and this new one is for asking and telling.'

MOMumental Achievements.

Veteran using medals for an eye test.

'Just say it's stick-to-your-ribs food. Don't mention what else it's stuck to.'

Most of them are for bravery, but the one I'm most proud of is for not peeing on the carpet.

Golden Egg.

'This one's a hood ornament. I got it for carpooling.'

Dyslexic Olympics.

"Why, yes it is for gallantry - I didn't use any sick days for an entire year."

Army general taking an eye test using military medals.

"Branch of the service? What makes you think I'm with any branch of the service?"