Medal Award Ceremony Pillows

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

Brian was very proud of his dog.

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

Military Medals

"Hey, dad. We wanna play army before we go to bed. Can we have our toy medals back?"

"I guess I was a good shot, because I took down 50 Nazis...all by myself. That's how I got my silver star. Honestly, I don't consider myself a hero. I consider myself lucky."

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

Win - win

"The first one is for graduating from basic training. The rest are classified."

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

'I was in the catering corps.'

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

Employee of the Month

Soccer coach of the year.

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

Jungle Games

Happy Champion

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

"This one is for not complaining about stretched too thin handling domestic and foreign crises."

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

'Son...old soldiers don't die...they just get medal fatigue.'

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

"Let's see, this one is cherry flavored, I think this one is blueberry ..."

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

The Generals medals

'This one is for keeping all the other ones so neatly arranged.'

'The 'most improved player of the year award' or the 'you don't suck as much as you did last year award' goes to...'

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'