Medal Fanatic Pillows

Veteran using medals for an eye test.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Brian was very proud of his dog.

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Go team!

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

Military Medals

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

"I guess I was a good shot, because I took down 50 Nazis...all by myself. That's how I got my silver star. Honestly, I don't consider myself a hero. I consider myself lucky."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

Ball as water-melon.

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Cricket Accidents.

"The first one is for graduating from basic training. The rest are classified."

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

'We're looking for athletic people.'

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

Hockey Season.

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

'I was in the catering corps.'