Mechanic Pillows

"We can't come to an agreement about how to fix your car, Mr. Simons. Sometimes that's the way things happen in a democracy."

"Gracie, just because you understand internal combustion engines...doesn't mean you can drive."

'When last did you have your oil changed?'

Well, the car's computer say it's YOU who won't start, runs rough, and back fires on acceleration.

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

"Yeah, I've been in rehub."

'Where ya goin'?' 'Collectin' nuts.'

"Get all the second opinions you want, doctor, …. You'll still be a quart low."

'We've found the problem...'

'We're looking for someone with your exact qualifications, but a mechanical version.'

Brakes are fine. You need new glasses.

'Well, for starters, I think it's about time for an alignment job.'

'Alright, alright, you've won your bet: You can lift me with one hand...'

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

"It doesn't look good. Leave it with us overnight and hope it gets stolen."

'You won't hear that funny noise anymore. I turned up the volume on your radio and pulled off the knob.'

"Installed it himself ??" saved $50."

Translating Contractor to English

Electric powered sleigh with wrong fitting.

'Well here's your problem - the wheel hasn't been invented yet.'

'The only way to survive these days is to diversify.'

'Wouldn't it be funny if it was just out of gas?'

Motorcycle Faith Healer

But is it practical? In theory, yes.

'It's broke. I could fix it, but then you'd be broke.'

Army Leader: 'We have ways of making you Torque.'

Natural gas

Quantum Mechanics.

'Well, I think I know why you've been having trouble starting her.'

'On behalf of Charter airlines may I apologise again for the delay while the plane is being built.'

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

'It's my car now, but as soon as it's fixed, it'll be my daughter's again.'

'I think this explains the funny noises coming from your engine.'

'The only service I could give this would be a funeral service.'

'Oh I could fix it for under fifty bucks, but I just couldn't live with myself knowing that someday you might need a whole new engine.'