Meatless Maestro Gifts

"No, I'm sorry, I can't recommend anything - I'm a vegetarian."

Tartine

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

Orchestra.

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

Burnt or Raw?

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"If I knew when this was going to end, it wouldn't be so stressful."

'What'll it be?'

Pull the udder one

Charles Addams.

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

The day Bob finally understood radiation of species.

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"I'm unable to process this image."

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

A butcher and his apprentice.

"Wow! You're a real good guesser, mom...that's exactly what we had at Jonny's party! Spaghetti an' cake an' ice cream!"

"... and come out fighting, boys."

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

Edgar Allan Poe

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

"Oh -- I've got one! If you could have dinner with anyone from history, living or dead, who would you have cater it?"

"This dinner party's going to a take a but of work."

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'You followed the recipie but it's missing the secret ingredient: Mom.'