Meatless Maestro Pillows

"No, I'm sorry, I can't recommend anything - I'm a vegetarian."

Tartine

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

Orchestra.

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Burnt or Raw?

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

Pull the udder one

'What'll it be?'

"If I knew when this was going to end, it wouldn't be so stressful."

Charles Addams.

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

"I'm unable to process this image."

The day Bob finally understood radiation of species.

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

"... and come out fighting, boys."

"Wow! You're a real good guesser, mom...that's exactly what we had at Jonny's party! Spaghetti an' cake an' ice cream!"

A butcher and his apprentice.

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

Edgar Allan Poe

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

"This dinner party's going to a take a but of work."

"Oh -- I've got one! If you could have dinner with anyone from history, living or dead, who would you have cater it?"