Meat Alternative Maven Pillows

"I'm looling for ground beef that's organic, non-GMO, and doesn't contain meat."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"States of tofu"

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

"Was that my pager or yours?"

Ski lift mobile

Nature Lovers

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

"It's your ribs. I'm afraid they're delicious."

"The doctor told me I needed to burn some fat, so I'm grilling a steak!"

"We'd like bruschetta, and we'd like it pronounced correctly."

Echo Mountain...NO Yodeling! - Falling rock zone.

'Knock it off, Gus! This is tough enough without your yodeling!'

Tour guide: 'And there's where we'll be setting up camp folks. Just at the base of that foothill.'

"I only invest in alternative meat products, so I reject the terms 'Bull' and 'Bear'."

'Waiter, I don't remember ordering this gristle!'

"I'm leaving you for someone who does care what we have for dinner."

"It's a sprain in your left porterhouse."

St. Agnes Catholic Church: Meatless Friday Lenten Dinner 6 PM.

"Hurry, dear, it's the Brutal Gourmet."

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

Go Veggie...

'Do you mind if my son watches you cook? I'm trying to bring him up to be a vegetarian.'

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

Butcher shop +

Skiing

Wordplay: Road Rage

'Leave me alone. I'm resting my steak.'

'We've won a free trip to the mountains.'

'well, then, I guess you're also lactose substitute intolerant.'

"Of course I enjoy being slaughter."

There's no reason to feel guilty - You're not the only vegetarian to get swine flu.