Mealtime Merry-maker Pillows

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

The louder the kid, the tighter the lid.

May your Christmas be full of harmony

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

"Today's special is puréed sweet potato on cracker."

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

Working at a brewery.

"Save some for Daddy, Buttercup."

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

'What do you mean you're not hungry?'

Merry Christmas!

'No pudding until you finish your oxtail soup!'

Hey, it's 5am somewhere, am I right?

'Yeah... and I'm the tooth-fairy!'

'The Easter Bunny and Hist Eight Tiny Reinhares.'

'For what we are about to receive...'

Cow sneezes milk at breakfast.

Supper.

"Don't worry dear. I won't spoil her anymore than you can afford."

It's our editorial opinion that you DESERVE a very Merry Christmas.

Nutcracker

'OK, OK, you got me. YOu just couldn't let it go, could you.'

"Yeah of course I told them I was bringing you, why?"

Merry and Bright!

"Naughty or nice? I thought in a post-fact world, anything goes?"

Reindeer Tryouts Today Only

'Eat in moderation. Drink in moderation. Be merry all you want.'

Happy Birthday Moses.

'I think we are just about to be found out.'

Cream Pie Joust

'I don't need to go on a diet. All I need is a bigger pair of pants.'