Mealtime Mentor Gifts

Cats prefer the food that people eat.

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

The louder the kid, the tighter the lid.

"I'm here for the hair."

"Today's special is puréed sweet potato on cracker."

"Michael, do your dinner."

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

"Have you considered vlogging?"

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

Schoolboy with lunch box.

'Plant a tree, build a house, father a child and make sure that there is a good lawyer in your closest circle of friends.'

"I am listening to my body. My body says yuk!"

"I have a strong personal commitment to dinner."

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

"It's just that I would be more thankful if we had roast beef."

"If you know what you want, please say so now, otherwise listen carefully, because the menu option have changed."

"i finally got around to reading the 'Having A Baby' books."

'No pudding until you finish your oxtail soup!'

Catering for a large family.

"Yes, Jamie -- you have an insight?"

Grandchildren's Menu: Whatever's on your plate and no funny business

"Snowflake, quit eyeballing me!"

"I don't know, sweetheart. Perhaps Daddy can tell us if chickens have souls."

'You mean, you cooked broccoli on PURPOSE?'

'This plate is wet.'

'Is this the remains of last Sunday's beef roast, or something left over from the dawn of creation?'

'Biscuit?' 'Leave it in the in-tray for the morning.'

"I thought I told you not to drink your milk."

"My husband's a surgeon, he can't let go of his work."

"I find it hard to give thanks for broccoli casserole."

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Female hormone before and after pregnancy.'

"Your story would have been better at 2x speed."

Will My Kid Eat This?

"Whenever I meet somebody, I try and accept them for who I am."