Meal Referee Gifts

"I mean, he does have a point."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

Garlic Free Zone.

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

But does he dust anything at our home? Noooo

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

Woman watches football match played by a mug of tea, salt pot and ketchup bottle, she says to husband: 'Your explanation of the offside rule was spot on.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"Hey, waiter! This homework is burnt to a crisp!"

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

Yeah, I've been driving in circles for an hour looking for a place to park. Zamboni.

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

'Now what?!'