Meal Planner With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

Soup of the month.

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'Like death by salad.'

Kiddies Menu for Witches

'Men order. . . women shop.'

Make your resolutions achievable.

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'In sickness and in health, under affordable health care or unaffordable. . .'

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

'I put an app on your computer to remove cookies and other thins slowing it down. It's like fiber for your computer.'

Wedding cake figures having marital problems.

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

She realised it would be foolish to start a diet with third cousin Rodney's retirement party due in only 12 years.

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"If anyone thinks the bride could do better, speak now or..."

Dad said that if he's paying for the wedding, he's entitled to a little something.

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

'There was a power failure today - we're having steak, fish, chicken, hamburger, turkey, and pork chops for dinner.'

"This is where the party budget ran out."

"Oh, no thank you. I’m rumaki-free."

Lunch Broker