Meal Mystery Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'I can't believe you cooked this all by yourself...you must have had an accomplice!'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'How is the water prepared?'

"Please don't kill me."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

The Aisle

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

'In case of emergency, break glass.'

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

"Still workin' on that, sir?"

"Sure we could just print out the specials, but the chef doesn't want to leave a paper trail."

'I'll have the mystery meat with anonymous vegetables.'

'Your meal should be along shortly. Frank just went out to hunt it.'

Hand coming out of chandelier pulls cover off waiter's food.

'Your trouble is that you don't appreciate good food.'

"Hey, guess what we're having for dinner tomorrow."

"She always said she'd only share this recipe over her dead body."

CIA Cafeteria: 'It's nice of you to ask, but the recipe is classified.'

'I can't tell you what's in the stew because it's classified.'

"Mmm. The soup du jour is not cream of mushroom. It is not tomato or celery, it is not chicken, nor is it Scotch broth. It is most definitely not won ton..."

Waiter, there's a wireless earbud phone in my soup.

'My doctor said I'm digging my own grave with a spoon and fork. It'll take longer if I use only a fork.'

"Surprise me."

'What's this rumor I hear, that they're putting saltpeter in Meals-On-Wheels!'

Faith-Based Tuna Casserole

'I'll take a six-piece 'Surprise Me' meal, and two 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' Wraps with Super Enigma Chunks...'

'Surprise us.'

"I'll start with the arugula-and-goat-cheese salad, and then I'll have the blackened wolf."

"We keep getting billed from DoorDash. Who here has been ordering all this food?"

An eerie hush fell over the audience when Myrtle responded, 'it tastes likes chicken. . .'.