Meal Mischief Enthusiast Pillows

Waiter, there's a wireless earbud phone in my soup.

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

The Aisle

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

'In case of emergency, break glass.'

Babies who Lunch.

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

"Still workin' on that, sir?"

'Gee, mom, how DID that happen? Maybe we better Google it!'

'Your trouble is that you don't appreciate good food.'

'You ordered the stuffed sea bass, didn't you?'

"They've agreed to drop the charges, but only if you agree never to stuff the turkey again."

'You still have breakfast and lunch on your dinner menu.'

'My doctor said I'm digging my own grave with a spoon and fork. It'll take longer if I use only a fork.'

Waiter: 'Your Chicken wings Ma'am.'

"Very impressive. . . internet troll."

'What's this rumor I hear, that they're putting saltpeter in Meals-On-Wheels!'

"Tonight, the part of the sea bass will be played by the chicken."

'I'll take a six-piece 'Surprise Me' meal, and two 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' Wraps with Super Enigma Chunks...'

'Oh, I was hoping '8G on the potato salad' was code for some lewd act you were suggesting.'

At The Skinny Customer Restaurant

The Toast Hunter

'Begging at the table again, eh?'

'Something moved!'

'Have you seen my husband? I left him by the lobster tank a few minutes ago!'

An eerie hush fell over the audience when Myrtle responded, 'it tastes likes chicken. . .'.

"And you say this was the serving suggestion?"

This time, Eddie was going to pay for this.