Meal Master Pillows

"I have a strong personal commitment to dinner."

"I thought I told you not to drink your milk."

Domestic Goddess.

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Burnt or Raw?

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

National Coffee Day

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"I'm unable to process this image."

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

'The 'Business Man's Lunch?' The chicken salad comes served in a laptop.'

'I love it when you cook - it lets me practice faking it.'

"How 'local' is the fish?"

A butcher and his apprentice.

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

"This dinner party's going to a take a but of work."

'After you with the camouflage.'

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

"Michael, do your dinner."

'You followed the recipie but it's missing the secret ingredient: Mom.'

'Do you have eczema?' 'No, only what's on the menu.'

"You folks ready to order?"

'There's something wrong with the slow cooker. I check it every minute but nothing's cooking!'

'Compliment me on my perfect pronunciation of this junk,and there'll be a good tip in it for you.'

"Don't order anything that will embarass me."

'Howard's short stay in the hospital was good for both of us. He finally appreciates my cooking.'