Meal Master Gifts

"I have a strong personal commitment to dinner."

"I thought I told you not to drink your milk."

Domestic Goddess.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

Burnt or Raw?

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

National Coffee Day

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

"I'm unable to process this image."

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

'The 'Business Man's Lunch?' The chicken salad comes served in a laptop.'

A butcher and his apprentice.

'I love it when you cook - it lets me practice faking it.'

"How 'local' is the fish?"

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

"This dinner party's going to a take a but of work."

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

"Michael, do your dinner."

'After you with the camouflage.'

'Do you have eczema?' 'No, only what's on the menu.'

'You followed the recipie but it's missing the secret ingredient: Mom.'

"You folks ready to order?"

'There's something wrong with the slow cooker. I check it every minute but nothing's cooking!'

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'

"Don't order anything that will embarass me."